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POOL UPDATE: THE FINAL FOUR

Friday, May 15, 2009

chicago wins

Round Two is over and it’s on to the Conference finals. In the West, two “Original Six” teams will compete to move on. In the East, twin sets of relative newcomers who’ve been recent runners up go at it. On both sides of the bracket, one team of stars and veterans will face a gang of speedy young guns. This is turning into a Stanley Cup Playoff for the Ages.

Don Cherry and CBC can drop all the F-bombs they want, but who really cares if there isn’t a Canadian team in the final four! Chicago has more Canadian players than anyone else in the League, not to mention the most guys from Saskatchewan. The All-Canadian kid captains Pittsburgh and the Staal brothers will be going head to head on the Atlantic coast. But that’s not what really matters. We’re dealing with the geography of Heart, here. Anybody who worships at the altar of their local Chamber of Commerce is missing the point.

pittsburgh wins 

While Jim Balsillie figures out all kinds of new ways to be a Dick, the kids who play the game demonstrate the kind of values you can really be proud of embracing.

Am I the only one who looks at all these NHL backroom business dealings and sees the same guys who convinced Gordie Howe a team jacket was a terrific playoff bonus, sold fake Roman coins and screwed Carl Brewer out of his pension?

And people say all the Goons are on the ice.

detroit wins

In Pool news, we have our first casualty. It’s a good thing Mr. McGrath is busy, because he’s out of players and will watch the rest of the festivities from the deepest depths of the basement. Don’t be too quick with the catcalls, however, because three or four of you look to be joining him soon.

Don’t despair, DMc! At the end of this round “The Props” are coming back! A chance for all you one-time Boston, Vancouver, San Jose and Washington fans to redeem yourselves.

And for prizes too!!!

Sometimes I’m so much like “Ellen” it scares me.

carolina wins

Anyway. The standings at the end of two full rounds are listed below. Savour your lofty perches while you can and expect a lot of movement over the course of Round Three.

I’m not sure how much hockey will have been played by the time Uncle Willis updates next. But I have a feeling it’ll be even better than what we’ve seen so far.

The Standings

 

1

Michael Foster

154

2

Will Pascoe

151

3

Moviequill

150

4

Brian Stockton

145

5

Barry Keifl

138

6

John Callaghan

136

7

Mark Wilson

135

8

Allan Eastman

132

8

Peter Mitchell

132

10

David Kinahan

131

11

Larry Raskin

129

12

Wil Zmak

119

13

Scotty William

114

14

Will Dixon

113

15

Jim Henshaw

110

16

Daryl Davis

95

17

Jeff Martel

94

18

Denis McGrath

71

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